Where's Your Will to be Weird?

Meteorologists, who have an obsession with running, have conducted a study that if you get caught in the rain, it is best to keep a moderate pace that is the equivalent to 5.32 miles per hour instead of trying to run through it at a pace of 8.7 miles per hour. However, if you reach a maximum speed of 12.6 miles per hour you should be relatively dry. Now if you are over 6 feet tall, you should just carry an umbrella, because you're inevitably going to get hit by a car. True Story.

Annnnnd we're back!  I failed to post over the weekend, because my true intentions for the weekend was to rage my face off.  Result?  No raging occurred, but I did get to go to the Giants vs. Bears game which was a display of awes...fail football, some Giants fans asking me who Randy was and explaining to a friend that I got the butterscotch candy out of the candy jar because of good karma.  Time to dance.

Highlight of the Game:  Hakeem Nicks catching 8 passes so I can deliberately shout the following:



Busy P - Pedrophillia (Chew Chocolate Cookies Remix)



What Happens when you take the Cookie Monsters cookies away and substitute with a steady dose of meth-amphetamines? A song that sounds like 10 fire alarms, an ambulance driving down the block and Denzel Washington doing the Macarena.  Cookie, Cookie Cookie!

Kanye West - Christian Dior Denim Flow (feat. everyone and their mother) 

God damn it's so hard not to like Kanye. Every week rolls out a free song that is not only good, but a hit and they continuously get better and better.  What makes matter worse is he's responsible for Duck Sauce.  Pretty much made Barbra Streisand into a brand.

Felguk - 2nite feat. Sporty-O

This song is just powered by INTZ.  Dut Dut checked out a while ago, but Intz just took it straight home on this one.



With the fall comes the rain and football.  Which means only one thing.  We all plan our route off of the subway 5 moves in advance.  First you have to pick your blocker.  For me, I tend to target a female who seems overly anxious and stressed rushing to get to work who is under 5 foot 3.  This allows you to have clear view of what lies ahead, crack-berries.  Now, once you break into the secondary opt in for either the Barry Sanders, stutter step or the left left right icky shuffle.  If all else fails, put your shit into beast mode and do the French Commute (see instructional video above from Justice).  Ballin!

M.I.A - Paper Planes (Scottie B Remix) 

Everyone please stand up and give a standing ovation to a DJ that will never be mentioned.  Single handedly was able to make Paper Planes better by upping the gunshot total to 939.  Got the paper, pencil and tally marks to prove it.  The answer is yes.  This song is my morning alarm and when my mother calls. Last gunshot post, I swear.

Clipse feat. Sean Paul vs. Pilot - Magic Grindin

This is were it all began.  My first ever hype machine favorite.  3 years later we have come full circle in the world of mash ups.



If you're like me, which is about 90% of the entire world population, you are a fan of 50 cent, vitamin water, symphony orchestra's and t.v commercials.  Now a couple of year's back there was some footage of 50 cent breaking into a orchestra practice where Dj Whoo Kid held up a violinist for his spot in the orchestra, while 50 was the conductor.



And Finally someone has answered my demand and created the full version.


Bronus

When I was in high school my sister had this awkward dance techy phase that unfortunately rubbed off on me. The difference was I have A.D.D and like bright colors.  So I ended up listening to a genre called Happy Hardcore and bought a bunch of cd's that looked like this:

Which sounded like this: 

Which would of resulted me ending up like the guy below if  my parents raised me in Long Island and not Connecticut, where I was surrounded by Phishy noodle dancers. You know who you are. 

Claps your hands say yeah attention beat disorder

Another Monday night another concert.  Finally got to see John Legend with the Roots perform at the Best Buy Theater.  Despite the fact that majority of the crowd was there just to be there, it was a great performance.  Unfortunately for me I couldn't help but keep my attention on the three back up singers doing their thing.  I couldn't help but also wonder how comfortable Legend's piano chair must be.  The dude really gets into it.  Slight resemblance of me sitting at work on a 2 hour hardstyle techno binge after my 6th cup of Earl Grey.  Hells yeah I drink tea.  Intz Intz Intz all over the place.

Highlight of the night:  John Legend covering Baby Huey's 'Hard Times'



Original:



Baby Huey really lived it up in the 70's.  Bro really unleashes his fury of soul on this one.  Gets into eating Spam, crushing Oreos and guzzling Thunderbird.  Killing it All Day All Night.  Just checked his Facebook status:  Peeping Don Cornelius on Soul Train all the while getting my donut money up son.

Low Point:  Double Fisting on an empty stomach

Honorable Mention:  Polka Dot Puffy Pirate Shirt Girl calling me a dick for cleverly maneuvering all of 6'10 Brodonnell in front of her so she wouldn't spill her overflowing cup of wine on me. I'm really not trying to hate on her, because I genuinely felt bad, but I think she had her hair pulled back a bit too tight. Here, Let me paint a picture for you:

Martin Solveig Feat. Dragonette - Hello (Original Mix)

 There is a time in our lives when we find ourselves stuck on repeat.  For some it could be the new Justin Bieber sing along marathon.  For others it could be all about Glee Glee Glee Glee or crying yourself to sleep while Boy George cradles you in his arms, casually creeped out just writing that. For me, well I suffer from a disorder I like to call 'clap your hands say yeah attention beat disorder'.  The cure? You already knew it was gunshots.  

How much do you want to bet every high school field hockey team warms up to this? Straight up Ice grilling the other team beating each others sticks while the goalie pounds on her chest like King Kong.  Those girls are some of the most hardcore athletes out there, with the exception of figure skaters (Remember Oxana Baiul, sheeesh).  All that back bending, staring at the ground and making sure their boyfriends aren't in the stands talking to the girls soccer team, can't even fathom the mental capacity.  Maybe not, but if you told me that this was on their warm up, it would make perfect sense, because I can't help but black out when I hear this.  Thanks Pat.   

El Guincho - Bombay 

Who said that trying to stuff your blog down people's throats doesn't reap any benefits.  From time to time, which is everyday, I'll shamelessly plug my blog Url on someone's status if I catch the faintest hint of music chatter.  In this case, my friend Amaha was the victim.  Luckily for us he was courteous enough to share this little diddy with us.  I'm really not doing this song any justice by not posting the video but it's not work environment friendly.  Let's just say there is some dudes playing instruments, people jumping into pools, couple of gun cameos, soap suds annnnnd boobies.  

Bon Iver - Skinny Love (Live in Some French Attic)

Great song, great performance, greatest way to spot a stalker video.  Please direct your attention to the bottom left section of the video and notice the smokeshow with the scarf wrapped around her neck.  All the other chicks are like "ehh seems like a nice guy".    Did you notice her?  Ok, glad I can share that with you.  Back to the stalker.  Either this dude is high on PCP, has a really bad case of tourrette's or is Bon's long lost step brother.  Either way he's showing zero composure.  There is a swarm of ladies around him, who I guarantee you know 3 words of English and he's hugging himself trying to out do the singer.  This is were you pull the classic double arm around the shoulders.  Personally, I would be sliding my way over to the brunette sitting in front of him.

Bronus: 

I'm on my Baby Huey kick.  Swizz Beatz ripped 'Hard Times' in 'Hard Knocks'.  Nothing like a good old fashion rap video shot in an old dirty Chinese restaurant with bullet proof glass, some white people throwing up deuces, and some rando riding his bike around. 

So last week I talked about how Duck Sauce goes well with Moo Shoo Pork and everything else Asian.  Well this video is exactly why music videos are made.  Raw, uncut and a butt load of cameos from the likes of Santogold, Dj Premier, Buckschot, Pharell, that Kanye guy, and Questlove, except they don't perform, just hanging out talking about Barbara.  This video also reminds me the night I left terminal 5 with no shirt, no belt, no I.D, no credit card and some librarians telephone number.  I know that we can all relate to walking home in late November shirtless unable to catch a cab for 3 miles.  

Bronus: 

This week's Bronus goes out to Parmon a.k.a Dj Terra a.k.a yo dj spin that shit a.k.a got that virtual dj battle on deck.  Seriously, give a listen to his podcast 

Hippobrotamus

The most dangerous animal in the animal kingdom and established by the Greeks as the water horse.  I wonder what kind of music they would listen to?  Conventional wisdom would tell you that they would probably like to listen to hip hop cerca late 80's early 90's.  More specifically, something along the lines of N.W.A or the fat boys, for instance:



Which reminds me of my 7,000 calorie regiment back in college.  You ever hit up the buffet at Ceci's pizza for $4.99 and then ran to death for 3 hours?  What about fazoli's for some run to the bano I  mean bread sticks? How about some chocolate chip pancakes with a side of 3 meat omelet and some cheese blintzes at I-hop?  Pretty much the equivalent of drinking jet fuel.

Back to the Hippo.  Now you may think that such a large animal is a lazy sloth.  But here is where it gets tricky.  They are freakishly deceptive, can strike at any second and should not be taken lightly.  They are also strapped with Kevlar vests, and teeth that resemble something along the lines of a hottari hanzo samurai sword .  Having said that, if by chance you ever run into a hippo remember this one thing:  They only listen to this one song:



I know what you're thinking.  How such a creature that only resides in Africa only understands Spanish?  Well I sure as hell have no clue, but I got my man Manuel on the case and he's extremely thorough.

Lil Wayne - Gonorrhea 

Oh.Shit.Son.  Hide your kids, hide your wallets, hide your wives, hide the peanut butter, sound the alarm, throw the terror alert up to blood red and someone call the Coast Guard.  El Nino just touch downed on Rykers Island and Weezy instantly went blue flame on us.  That means he's hotter than El Diablo.  

Brratt!  - Steve Aoki & Armand Van Helden

Well well well, what do we have here.  Another song with a gun shot reference minus actual gun shots.  Someone get the street sweeper crew because there are machine gun casings all over the blogosphere.  Pgod 849 - Universe 0.

Madonna - Into the Groove (Sidechains Remix)

Oh like you never had a Madonna phase once or twice in your life.  Stop lying to yourself.  You want to know the secret to shutting down a high school dance?  You sing the shit out of 'Like a Prayer' with every girl in the room or you have your date throw up on the principal. Anyone have a breath mint?  God I hate that song.

Forward Russia - Breaking Standing (Russell Bloc Party Remix) 

I've been looking for this song for about 3 months straight and after searching meticulously through all 33 pages of songs on hype machine I have finally found it.  The original is straight up doo doo, but the remix, oh the remix is so much better.

2 Live & Die in L.A - String Quartet



Whether you have just broken up with your significant other, received a promotion, found out you were Eskimo brothers with your best friend with the girl from biology who always rocked the sean jean sweat pants or just woke up one morning knowing that today you will not end up on the subway with the 3 amigos playing their fucking Spanish guitars so you can read the metro in peace, you have an appreciation for string quartets.  Or is that just me?

Faithless - Tweak on Your Nipple (Tiesto Remix)



So it's Friday, after a pretty aggressive street meat sesh and I get back to my cube and as usual Parmon sends me another gem. Yes, it's techno and it's Euro as hell and yes the title is 'Tweak on your Nipple', but that doesn't mean you can't put your hands up in the air in your cube while your coworkers look at you funny. Just don't tweak on your nipple, that would be weird and way out of line.



Bronus:

This weeks Bronus is dedicated to the man who's responsible for making your girlfriend take you to see Step Up, You Got Served, Stomp the Yard and the Notebook.  All of which are in my Netflix queue on a regular rotational basis.









The Hood Internet - Eve (Feat. Swizz Beatz) VS. Radiohead - Tambourine Reckoning

Swizz Beatz feat. Lil Wayne, R.Kelly - It's Me Bitches (Remix)

Bang Bang Skeet Skeet wit it

So Fall has officially entered 2010 and I'm trying to write this while getting uber knots in my calves from running sprints in central park.  Apparently, yoga didn't do the trick yesterday.  Which brings me to the song that I blast while attempting to look normal running at full speed around ginormous horse poo piles (and no I'm not referring to grenades either) around this great time of year.  Enjoy.  P.S don't let the title fool you, leaves were blowing everywhere when I reached maximum velocity.

Yann Tiersen - Summer 78

In all honesty, I only listened to this when I stretched.  Here's the real version.  Straight up Ice Grill waving hand across face passing passersby.  Does that make sense?  Luda!



Hoodie Allen - Swimming with Sharks (Feauting VV Brown) 

For some reason I would like to dedicate this song to all of the special lady's out there to sincerely apologize.  Specifically those that I used to yell at during high school gym class when we would play basketball and I would DEMAND the ball, because I didn't want to lose.  For all of the times I asked that you pass the chicken to me during capture the chicken.  For all of the times I said bet you can't do more than one pull up. And for all of the times I was sorry for not being sorry. I wonder if I still hold the archery record?

Kanye West - Diamonds (Ratatat)

Don't Judge a book by its cover?  Yeahhh right.  The name speaks for itself, Ratatat.  What's that? Gun shots.   I am repeating myself, but that's all you need in a song.  Now here's the tricky part.  Apparently Ratatat, doesn't even use gunshots in his beats!  Crazy right?  In all seriousness, I don't understand why this guy hasn't blown up yet. To me, he's the juggernaut of beats, the Fred Flinstone of Bedrock, The Papa Smurf of the Smurfs, the Coo Coo in your Crisp.  Everything should revolve around your favorite cereal.

Kate Perry vs. Bloc Party - I kissed a girl at a Banquet 

First time I kissed a girl was in the 6th grade.  There was a trampoline, some trees, couple of raccoons lurking in the shadows along with Michael Meyers.  Can't remember the first time I had a banquet.  Now, kissing a girl at a banquet, can't recall that being crossed off the bucket list.  Unless you count the lunch table and we all know how that all went down during that awkward time of our lives.  Luckily, some genius decided to mash these two up.

The Go Team! - The Power is on 

I wish I knew about this sooner, but better late than ever.  Sadly I heard this on an NFL commercial for "play 60".  Sounds like Terror Squad got together with RJD2 on this one (Those are not star wars characters). If this doesn't move you, you have no soul and you're whiter than that guy who starred in the movie Powder.  Look on the bright side that dude could bend spoons and do other cool tricks like make a mean PB and J...I think.

Far East Movement - Like a G6 (Miami Ski Team Remix) 

You heard it here folks.  Just broke the record for the longest Pop Lock and Robot.  Had the guy from Guinness world of records and the whole works.  Which brings me to my next point.  What is with these names?:  Miami Ski Team?  Designer Drugs?  All this binary code talk about skiing in Miami with 2 Ferrari's in my hand and one puma.  I heard that once in Prague. 

Duck Sauce - Barbra Streisand 

Damn Disco resurgence, it has to stop eventually.  Until now, I'll just pretend it's somewhat okay.  Have you ever had duck sauce?  It goes really well with Moo Shoo Pork or Chicken, especially if you get the really thin pancakes.  I used to order double extra duck sauce + pancakes.  Have you ever had Barbra Streisand?  I wouldn't know anything about that

Bronus:

Afrojack - Take Over Control (Myndset Bootleg)

Did you put the vocals in?  Nah.  Well, put them in damn it! Ok.  Now take them out.  What?  You heard me.

Bon Iver - Bruised Orange (Chain of Sorrow)

Apparently, Bon is still not over his ex-girlfriend.  But as long as he keeps on putting this out, I will listen to it. Would I hang out with him?  Totes Migotes.

Plan B - The Recluse (Nero Remix)

Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed 

I think I'm following her on twitter or something.

J. Cole - Blow up 

If someone hates you, you're doing something right.  If everyone likes you, you obviously never cut someone's collar off of their shirt.

Death before Disco

I just wanted to take the time and vent for a second by posting this video.  A) The first song in this video is my theme song when Im heading into work.  B) These guys can really rip it.  C) If it wasn't for silly and outdated breakdancing rules I would be there.  Apparently, you are automatically disqualified from competition if you use any alcoholic beverage as a dancing prop.  Rumor has it, such rules don't exist in Poland, but obviously I don't live there any more.



Glad we got that over with.  I'm not too thrilled with my selections this week, but there were still a number of gems out there.  My ears are still ringing from the Eminem concert, party bus tour, and Dj Parmon killing it at Ohara's birthday so I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to hear.  Things got mad real at around the 1:30 AM mark on Friday night when a rap video broke out.  Oh and thanks to everyone who egged me on for trying to get up on the table that was supported by one beam.



M.I.A & Sebastien Tellier - XR Kilo (Ben Danner Mix) 

50% Intz Intz + 50% Dut Dut Dut +  M.I.A vocals x added value =  4.   You can call me the professor from now on.

8 Bit - Hip Hop Medley 

Bet you can't guess all of the hip hop songs in one try.

Chemical Brothers - Swoon (Boys Noize Mix) 

My appreciation for Electronic music began when I first heard the Chemical Brothers in my friends sisters friends car driving home from the local fireworks show on the 4th.  Great memories.  I was entering my freshmen year and it was the first time I got drunk off of 4 beers of top shelf Budweiser served at room temperature.  My mom also appreciated that great night considering I was yacking my brains out the entire night.  "It was the chicken mom, I swear!" As you can see I was clever enough to make up that genius lie.  She totally bought it.....I was grounded for the rest of the summer.

Sleigh Bells - Tell 'Em

This song was resurfaced to me by my friend Pat.  There is a lot of bass in here so be careful.  When I hear this I can't help but picture Sylvester Stabroni playing as Rambo on steroids, HGH, Horse Tranquilizers and that green shit the Hulk injected himself with (not really sure if it was actually green or not).  Bruce Banner get back in your cage.

Thomas Radman - Justice vs. Wolfgang Gartner

First time I heard Justice was at the end of an STS9 concert about 3 years ago.  Ever since then it has all been downhill for me.  Warning:  If you are prone to seizures make sure you bite down on a Popsicle stick or have someone strap you down to your seat with duct tape or something.  Just kidding, but seriously.

Dolly Parton vs. Jay-z - Jolene is Mine (KMT Mix)

Words can't describe how I feel about this mash-up.

I Never Dance - I Never Dance

Songs like this make me extremely nervous.  Because they make me bend my one motto that I live by ever since my mom used to make me listen to ABBA when I was 7.  Which is Death before Disco.  I hate to say I told you so, but I saw this Disco resurgence movement about 3 months ago.  And now I find myself writing about it.  P.S - this song is fantastic.

Rihanna - Who's That Chick (David Guetta)

What's better than Rihanna?  Nothing.  What's better than David Guetta?  Dr. Dre, Chemical Brothers, Justice, Pancakes, chap stick, squirrels etc. etc.  But if you put the two together you get a pretty decent track.

Bronus

April Smith and the Great Picture Show - Movie Loves a Screen

Swedish House Mafia - Show Me One (Laidback Luke Bootleg)

Buena Vista Social Club vs. Kanye West - Two Chan Words (KMT Mix) 

Deadmau5 - Sofi Needs a Ladder 

Shady R.O.C lands on Yankee Stadium

Last night Eminem and Jay-z performed at Yankees stadium and are currently doing so.  Needless to say, my ears are still ringing, I have no voice and I'll go out and say that last nights concert was the best thing that I have ever witnessed at maximum capacity.

Before the concert even began I got the pleasure to stand in front of Lyor Cohen, where I immediately starting hyperventilating.  Lights out and Shady hits the stage, and the rest of the night is priceless.  Too hungover to write a full narrative.  Enjoy the pics and videos, courtesy of my friend kyle, who has never been to a rap concert in his life, has seen phish 1000+ times and said the following last night "That was the best concert I have ever been to".

Eminem - Forever

Dr. Dre - Nothin but a G Thang

Jay-z Featuring Beyonce - Forever Young

Jay-z - Empire State of Mind

Throwback

You know what kept me out of after school detention?  My dad's underground gymnastics stadium and weight room....not really.  But seriously, when I was in Elementary school I would rush home to watch 3 hours of Rap City on BET with Big Lez and Joe Claire a.k.a Joe Cleazy.  Joe Claire over Carson any day any time, one rap video at a time.  So after about 10 years 3 hours a day of Rap City, I am now stuck with useless knowledge of rap videos from the 90's.


Having said that, this week on hype machine was relatively weak.  I literally had 4 songs on rotation, all which I am ashamed admitting to liking.  So I'm going throwback to the golden age of rap 1991-2001.


SWV featuring Wu-Tang Clan - Anything





Nothing like diversifying your bonds with Sistah's with Voices and the Wu.  This little ditty was featured on the  Above the Rim soundtrack in the recent year of 1994 (Juice mixed with basketball minus Omar Epps + White Boy Eric Nies, he used to host The Grind on MTV).  Song features the usual Wu members such as U-God, Method Man and Old Dirty Restaurant.


Busta Rhymes - Woo Ha





If you're like me, you have at least one bodily injury somewhere that reminds you of a certain song.  Let me take you back to the Spring of 96' where I found myself in my parents bed room watching MTV Spring Break, you know just hanging out on my parents bed drinking a juicy juice.  Next thing you know Busta and Spliff Star are on stage going bat shit crazy with Woo Ha. Immediately drop my Juicy Juice and start waving my hands in the air like someone at a Church screaming "Lord Baby help me Jesus!".  With complete reckless abandonment, I slice my index finger on my parents chandelier, glass going everywhere.  Was it worth it?  Swing by my cube and I'll show you my war wound.    


People Under The Stairs - The Next Step II





There is no video for this, probably due to budget constraints and because no one knows about the Bay area's People Under the Stairs.  If these guys ever made it main stream, people would be strapped with cardboard just to throw down on the spot with some coffee grinders, hollowbacks, and some munch airflares.  For those that don't know, those are break-dancing moves. 


Bone Thugs & Harmony - Body Rott





Gangsta Rap has pretty much deceased since 50 cent was shot 9 times and put out one of best Gangster Rap albums of all time.  However, in the 90's it was rampant.  It's only proper that I throw up the Bone Thugs track for my boy Bone.  I remember purchasing this album, throwing this on and swearing my face off.  Easily over excited I didn't realize I purchased the clean version - Fail.  Needless to say Bone got a pretty good laugh out of it.  Bone is currently serving a life time sentence at Rikers a.k.a working for a pharmaceutical company rocking a suit daily.


Memphis Bleek - My mind Right





You know how many times Flex dropped the bomb on this?  5 times.  That's the equivalent to Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.  Throw the Roc up, fix ya face, if you just robbed a liquor store, call me I won't snitch and all of that.  I would say "Marcy Stand up", but I don't qualify.


Vicious - Freaks 





Best thing about rap in the 90's?  Literally no boundaries.  We all know about Lil Bow wow, Lil Romeo, and soon you'll know Willow Smith.  But in the 90's we had Little Vicious.  Never mind the fact that he only put out one album.  All you need to know is that this dude was like 5 rapping about (I don't know how to put this lightly) condoms and broads.  Honestly, I'm perplexed.  A) where did he learn this breadth of knowledge at such a young age?  B) Who the hell are his parents?  C) What?!?!  Big ups to Doug E. Fresh for this beat.  Human beat box at its finest.  


Bronus


Charlie Baltimore featuring Ghostface Killah - Stand Up





Only way to make it in rap in the 90's as a female was either having a banging voice for a hook or option b) being dirtier than Lil' Kim.  And Charlie Baltimore ran the gamut minus the banging voice. I had to throw this on here because this video is essentially ridiculous.  From my understanding any chic rocking a Chinchilla coat in the hood would be subject to the following:  "Ey yo let me holla at you for a minute, yo! run that shit or get that ass beat".  No?  


Onyx featuring DMX - Shut em Down 





So if Charlie Baltimore (see video above) ran into this group of fun loving animated characters (Sticky Fingaz, pretty much the same thing as the wet bandits, what movie?) , chinchilla coat gone in 15 seconds turned over for straight cash.  Luckily for her, they were all part of the same label Def Jam.  


Black Moon - 2 Turntables and a Mic 





If you trip over the wire, we going to get our man Smitty to beat you up.  The rap version of Beck's 'Where It's at".  I'm pretty sure he siphoned this from Buckshot, yes that is the rapper's name from Blackmoon.  The cuts in this are spot on. 


EPMD, K-solo, Redman - Headbanger 





The first time I saw this video, 1992, it gave me nightmares.  5 years later, it gave me nightmares.  10 years later it gave me nightmares.  I think I'm good now.  Yo, where's my hoodie?